Women should wear badges – Dating thoughts from the Laird

I have never been good at speaking to women.  I mean I can speak to them but if there is a glimmer of attraction, then I go all to pot.

Blame self esteem issues, blame confidence, blame what you will – it was all kicked out of me years ago and has never come back.  However that’s alright, I do not mind…well too much anyway.

So my idea…

Women wear badges when they are out.  That way if they like someone, the badge shows this in a subtle visual way and the man knows it is ok to approach.  Since women are less visually pre-occupied than men, this would mean that shy men like myself, would know when they are liked.  If during the conversation, the mood changed , the badge would change too.  Then the conversation could be cut short with no-one left feeling rejected.

Probably would not help me too much though!  It might help me break the ice….maybe!

Now I know this is not serious.  It is just that finding myself at 41, single again, the thought of going out to meet people is just terrifying.  I remember my previous experiences all too clearly and I have no wish to revisit them in a new setting, with the added advantage of being older.  I have looked at dating sites and the need to put a picture of yourself up is just…well lets be honest here, it would not really help drive women my way would it?  Plus if I did join up and got no interest, my self esteem would plummet further

(Not self pity fishing for compliments.  I would not believe you anyway.  This is also why if I did join a dating site, any positive contact would be treated with suspicion – yeah I am complicated!)

At the moment I could not have a relationship with anyone.  It is too soon for me but I do miss the closeness that being with someone would bring.  Not just sex, just the being with someone for a brief period of time.  I really miss that.  However since I cannot chat women up, well that is not going to happen is it?

So where does this leave me then?  Well to be honest i do not know.  There is a part of me that welcomes the time alone.  Not that I am doing anything apart from reading and playing video-games. 

Then there are the nights.

I hate the nights.

I cannot relax as my mind churns through real and imagined scenarios.  Keeping me awake with replayed conversations, over-analysing each and every word.  Did I say the wrong thing?  Did I misread a sign?  What if I never find anyone?  What if I settle for someone, anyone just so I am not alone?

I really do not like the nights.



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