Write Yourself Better


Is this possible?  Well I do not really know but after yesterdays bad spell and the subsequent post (and it giving me the biggest readership of anything I have written for a long time – what a weird world I live in!) I have drifted back to this subject.

 

I have written about this a while ago but my memory is all misty at the moment, so I cannot remember exactly what I had said.  So lets start afresh and see where this all goes.

 

Still Here?…..Good.

 

Ok the first time I had even heard of the concept of writing yourself better, was during a YouTube video of Grant Morrison at a Disinformation conference.  Morrison is one of my favourite writers and while I will read almost anything he has produced, I do accept that sometimes he is far too weird to be good.  Only occasionally though.  The rest of the time I come away from his work with my mind popping and fizzing with ideas and concepts.  Most do not make sense but that is not the point.  They have lit a fire in my imagination that I have to put somewhere and this encourages me to write, to create and enjoy.  Most of this writing never sees the light of day as it is merely for me but occasionally I will put stuff out there.  The recent burst fiction stories that I have put on this blog are part of that.  Just randomness that I have to put down somewhere, hoping that I entertain someone with it.  The recent stuff all seemed to connect together in some way and that then shaped my writing into some sort of longer story.

The main character of the story is the Laird of Darkness.  My online avatar for many years, that came from a nickname a friend of mine gave me years ago.  What if the Laird came into one of my stories?  What would it be like?  This was my way of doing just that.

It very quickly became something else, something far more involved than I had planned.  Looking back I can see the reasons but at the time it just felt like what I had to write.

Once I had finished the story, I put all the short posts together in one post and put it out there in case anyone wanted to read the whole thing easily.  I did toy with the idea of self publishing it too, again more for the fun of it than to make money.

I then tried to move onto other stories, other aspects of my writing but they just were not flowing.  My mind kept wandering back to the world I had left the Laird in.  I added a final part and then thought about doing a writers commentary but in the end I only managed to do that for half the story. 

Then when my personal circumstances changed, I felt myself retreating into my characters again.  The Laird, while not exactly me, is an aspect of me and what I would ideally like to be.  Confident, useful, entertaining and very well dressed.

However my writing was all about how he was lost, gone from the timestream.  This was how I felt about myself and I thought I could express my feelings through a character, without having anyone I know read the stories and start to ask if I was ok?

The writing got darker, most things did not even make it as far as the page.  Left to fester in my mind, I found myself trying to make them fit somehow.

 

So where does Grant Morrison come into this?   Well there is a great article here

https://sites.google.com/site/nedbeauman/interviewwithgrantmorrison

The extract that I want to point you to is this one…

 

That makes The Invisibles even more notable is the strange blurring of boundaries between its protagonist, King Mob, and its creator. “It was like a diary,” says Morrison, who was once invited by NASA to talk to their physicists about creativity. “I was doing a lot of magical experiments, Aleister Crowley stuff, voodoo. And then I came up with the notion that if you create a model of the universe and then play with it, you can change the universe itself. I found I could put people in the comic and then meet them a few months later. The interactions between me and the text got stranger and stranger. I was living the life of these characters, except that I wasn’t actually bombing government buildings.” When King Mob got a beautiful girlfriend, Morrison did too; when King Mob was tortured almost to death, Morrison’s own body began to collapse from within. “It got to the point where I was lying in hospital, near death, and as I was waiting to be told if I’d have to have a heart bypass, I wrote the next issue, because I was convinced that I could write my way out of trouble and make a totemistic pact with the bacteria that was invading my body.”

 

Now, while the above may sound just unlikely or even stupid, I can understand what he means.  The thought of writing the Laird into a happier universe and life is now taking shape.  It is incredibly blurry at the moment but it is getting clearer all the time.

 

Will it work? 

 

I have no idea.  Indeed there is a large part of me that thinks that it wont and that this idea I have is just another example of my fragile state at the moment.

 

Yet wouldn’t it be great if it worked?  I mean really worked?

 

Alternatively I should just keep writing, entertaining a small number of people and eventually get some groupies.

 

Time will tell.

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