I’m taking a ride with my best friend…

He reached the bottom of the stairs and saw the two doors.  One marked with a red cross and the other with a black moon.  There was a choice to be made here and he did not want to rush it.  The symbols were meaningless but from his conversation in the nightclub, he knew that one door led to the same as before.  The familiar feeling of normality, of safety….of a mundane life and death.

The Other led to a life of uncertainty.  One full of roller coaster highs and lows. 

“It would be more exciting but could also break your heart”.  That’s what she said to him, before she smiled and left the club.

He had already made his choice.  Through one door he could return to being John Smith again.  The other, he would stay as the Laird.  Having hidden from that for so long, he knew that was never happening again.

He just had to pick a door.

Behind him, the Laird heard the sound of footsteps coming down another set of stairs.  He had not seen those earlier but had come to accept that things were in flux here.  Turning he saw a man he almost recognised appear.  Clad in a military officers uniform, with a crest on the shoulder that looked familiar, the man approached him and stuck out his hand.

“Damn good to see you again.”

The Laird shook this strangers hand.  Both men had a strong, firm grip, equally matched to each other.

“I’m sorry.  I feel I know you but I cannot remember where from?” The Laird replied.


The Military man smiled and his pencil thin moustache wrinkled ever so slightly.

“We met in our local pub a while ago.  Neither of us looked the way we do now.  Its all smoke and mirrors Old Chap.”

He then stood to attention and saluted the Laird.

“Colonel Montgomery McSwine at your service Sir.”

The Laird smiled.  He knew this man from before.  He had served with this man back before the fall.  Returning the salute, the Laird spoke proudly.

“The Laird of Darkness.  Also at your service Sir.”

Both men dropped the salute and hugged.

“I did not think I would ever get back here,” McSwine whispered during the embrace, “I felt as though my whole life had been just a dream that I was never going to feel again.”

Breaking the hug, the Colonel looked at the doors and tapped them both with his military baton.

“So then Laird, which one are we going through?  I assume you met our female counterpart too?”

So that was who it was.

“Well Colonel, I know that one door leads us back to the past and one leads us to the future.  However I cannot decide which one is which?”

The colonel stroked his moustache and considered the options.  He took out a pipe and filled it from a pouch in his jacket pocket.  Lighting the sweet smelling tobacco, he drew a coupkle of times and then blew a key shaped smoke cloud into the air.

The Laird clapped, “Oh that is clever.”

“Thank you.  Just a little trick I picked up from an Indian chap during the war.  Very clever bugger he was.  Saved my life a couple of times.”

The key flowed softly towards the space between the doors and crashed soundlessly upon the wall.

“Of course i saved his life more but you know, I don’t really like to talk about it.”  The Colonel Smiled and unzipped a backpack that had appeared.  From within, he drew out a white fluffy balero style jacket.  Slipping it on, he stepped forward and pressed the wall in front of them.  It swung open slowly, revealing a scene of chaos behind it.

“Right old chap.  Time to go home.”

The Laird followed into the unknown.  The decision had been made.


Wait….but you hate the Big Blue Idiot!!!!

My thoughts on Man of Steel – Spoilers obviously – you have been warned, albeit they are minor ones.

Still here?

Ok Here goes.

I liked it. I really do not like Superman as a character as you may have read previously.  However when he is written properly, he can be this inspiring hero that people can look up to.  Y’know the way he was originally created to be.

There are very few Superman stories that I would count as doing it right.  Red Son, All Star Superman and Grant Morrisons New 52 Action Comics run being the ones I would point at as good Superhero stories that happen to feature Superman.

So the film starts a bit slow with a few too many flashbacks.  There are four (that I remember) and only two of them were needed.  The first one with Clark as a kid and the one with his father and the dog.  The bus and the fight ones are just padding that should have been written around.  However that is a minor criticism.

Lois Lane was a well written part.  Well acted too.  Although for a supposed Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist, she has never handled a camera before (Seriously I was squirming at those scenes!).

Zod was great, as was Jor El.  Fight scenes were well done, if a bit OTT.

The ending….well I can see why people would be suprised but it has happened a few times in the comics over the years, so I had no problem with it.

Overall it showed Supes as a Heroic figure and that has been sorely lacking in the comics for a long time.


Last night I saw World War Z.  I enjoyed it too.  It is not the book but it had a better ending and Brad Pitts hair looks fantastic throughout.  Plus the scenes shot in Glasgow made me smile.

I fell apart, then got back up again

I have written before about how certain books, songs etc can inspire people in different ways. That feeling when something sets fire to your very soul and you are changed somehow.
Normally with me its media that I have stumbled across and absorbed. Occasionally its recommended to me by friends or family. Some of those recommendations can be hit or miss but I always appreciate them.
Then there are the ones which leave you questioning why you have never listened to, or read more by a particular band or author.
This is one of those moments for me. Can’t believe I hadn’t heard this song before.

Now you should go and share something that moves you emotionally. Share it with those that will appreciate it. It all helps to make the world a nicer place.
Have a good weekend darklings

I’ll send you postcards every single day just to prove I still exist.

I posted yesterday about preferring angry Manics tracks and while this one sees them in more reflective mood, I post it because of the sentiments.
We need to remember who we were, even if that’s just to remind ourselves we no longer are that person.
I think at times, I would like to visit my younger selves, to reassure them when things were bad. However I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have listened!

When the sun shines, we’ll shine together

The best cover versions are when a band takes a song and makes it sound like one of their own. I hate the original of this as it’s typical bland R&B. This version sounds like a Manics track.
I may prefer the angry, attitude filled Manics – however sometimes we all need that lull before the storm in a band we love.
And I do so love the Manics

I want to reach my hand into the dark and feel what reaches back

Well that was the weekend Darkness fans.  I hope yours was good?

I must apologise to long time readers for the following post.  I have written about this before (and most probably used the same post title at some point) but this is a little trip down memory lane and I want you to come along for the ride.  Think of this post as a remix.

Still here?

Good then I will begin.

Many years ago, when I was just starting to accept my Goth side, I went to a club in Aberdeen called Moshulu.  Had never been there before but it had been recommended to me and when I saw that they were having a Fetish night, I decided to pay it a visit.  So one a cold wet sunday night, my mate and I turned up.

I did not know what to expect.  My knowledge of the fetish scene in Aberdeen and beyond was very limited at that time.  So out of curiousity I went.  We had arrived early, so the club was very empty.  Grabbing drinks, we sat near the dancefloor and just people watched.  Not in a judgemental way, more a strange interest.

The DJ was playing some very loud metal music.  Not my cup of tea but it did help set the tone.  The second track kicked in as heavy as the first and I started too get into the zone.  The place was slowly filling up and it was feeling very right.

Then the third track started.  A soft, sexy voice started to talk while a synth was lightly in the background.  It sounded amazing.  Then the drums kicked in and the talking continued.  The words were like a manifesto of dark desire.  Phrases peppered around that conjured up the most vivid of images.  I had never heard anything this good before.  The closest I can think of is Madonnas “Justify my love” but this was better.  Sexy and scary and oh so beautiful.  I had to know what it was, so I went to the DJ booth and (eventually) managed to find out the name of the track.  This was back in the day before smartphones and I had to remember the three words the DJ had spoke to me.

Want by Recoil

I went home later that night having felt like somehow I had managed to end up in the nightclub from the Crow movie.  It was a place where i actually felt accepted.  Many more times did I return there for the normal music nights.  Each and every time I felt at home.  It was a rock club but was full of all types of people. 

Closed now, replaced a couple of times by clubs that just…well just are not for me.  The most recent version decided to have a Moshulu night one friday and a group of friends went along after watching Dredd.  It was horrible.  The owners had obviously never actually been to Moshulu and thought that by having read a few things, they could recreate the atmosphere.  It could never have worked, people and music had moved on and yet there was a small part of me that really wanted to believe that the club I loved, would have managed to come back to life.  Standing there in a club surrounded by students who think it is alternative to wear slogan t-shirts but not have the attitude or belief to back them up, a little part of me died.  I have never been back.

The day after the fetish night, I bought the album “Liquid” and could not believe how good the whole thing held together.  A definite mix of music styles with parts that remind me of “Play” by Moby (despite this coming out earlier) but there are a few dark tracks on it and they are my favourite.

The song itself could have so many different meanings and it will depend on your own taste and mind.  However it is a song has never left whatever music device I have at the time.  I could tell you what it means to me but if you know me at all, you don’t need me to.

Here is a video with the lyrics to the song.  I recommend this version just so that you can see the mmastery and seeming randomness of them.  One day I will make my own music video for this.  It will be dark, sexy and very, very me.  If it turns out well, I may even show it to you.


Goodnight Darklings



Send away the tigers

Hello there

Most of the stuff I post here, gets cross posted to my twitter, Tumblr and Facebook account.  No real reason, although it is always nice when I see that many people have read a post.

However there are things that I don’t want to share with my family, friends etc.  This is one of them and while there is a chance that they stumble across this post, the risk is minimal.

I am supposed to going out drinking tonight with work colleagues.  I was really looking forward to it at the beginning of the week and even this morning, I was thinking that it was going to be a nice end to a tough week.  Mid morning, my mood changed.  Nothing triggered it that I can tell but it just is there and I cannot seem to escape it.

This Manic Street Preachers song came on my music player a wee while ago and it seems to sum up some stuff that I could not put into words properly. 

You see I know what will happen tonight.  I will go out drinking, having a laugh with friends and then go home alone.  Its that last bit I think may be contributing to why I am not looking forward to tonight.  I should be used to doing that but for some reason it makes me sad today. 

I even went and dug out my Adam Ant style jacket and my Cross top to wear tonight.  I always feel more “Laird-like” when I am dressed up.  I thought I would breeze into the pub and just enjoy myself.  Now I look at the jacket and I feel like I would be a fraud wearing it.  Or worse, i would not have the attitude and confidence that it normally gives me and look like an old man trying to look cool.

My alternative is that I just stay in tonight.  Play some video games and watch movies, safe in my little cocoon.  Why put myself out there to be ignored when i can just assume that it is going to happen?

Defeatist attitude? Damn right.  I am hoping by writing this down, I somehow get the feeling out of me but it does not look as if it is shifting.  I have switched my music player to my “sad” mix of songs because I feel the need to wallow. 

I could just appreciate that I am going to have a fun  night out and take the enjoyment from that.  Lets be honest, I would not be able to handle it if anyone did take a shine to me.  However I would like to have the choice rather than have it made for me.

Does that make sense?

If I do end up going out, there is a very good chance that I will get drunk and if I am still feeling like this, then I should stay off the internet.

But I wont.