Getting Older, Clerks 2, Dreams and the Smashing Pumpkins

I am 42.  To some that is old.  To others, it is young.

To yet others, it is the meaning of life.

Yet to me…well I know I am old but not old.  I have done a fair bit in my life so far.  Nothing world changing but on the whole I have lived a life I am happy with.  My body may be older but my mind still feels mid 20’s – it is a weird feeling at times!

When I saw Clerks, I was in my early 20’s and had just moved out of retail.  Although I had not worked in a convenience store (or wee shoppie as I would have called it), I could relate to a lot of what went on in that movie, well as far as the customer interaction was concerned.  I did think I was only doing the job temporarily until I was ready to be a writer full time.  I could see it happening and knew that it would only be a small number of years before I made the leap.

Yeah…..I believed that back then!

When Clerks 2 came out, I am ashamed to say I did not get to see it in the cinema.  Various other factors had conspired to stop me, so I ended up getting it on DVD.

Watching it, I could feel something.  The characters on screen were in their early 30’s and I was in my mid 30’s but I could relate to a lot of the feeling of the drudgery and the missed chance of escape.  I had changed jobs a couple of times since I had seen the first movie (also on DVD) and yet I understood how Dante felt.  I had been telling myself for years that I would not be doing whatever it was I was employed as at the time.  I would make the step….just not yet.

The prison speech between Randall and Dante is one of my favourite written and acted scenes anywhere.  Credit must go to the Actors who took Kevin Smiths great script and put the emotion onto the screen in such a lifelike way, that it struck me hard.

You see, I have taken part in that conversation (well the general gist of it anyway) so may times, with so many people over the years.  I have had great friends encourage me to do something, anything with my writing.  Hell to even go and do something that made me happy.

And yet I had never taken the next step.  For one reason or another I had retreated back into the familiarity of a situation that made me sad and sometimes angry but was familiar.

I watched it again at the weekend.  

Truly this is my favourite Kevin Smith Movie (and I have liked them all…yes even Jersey Girl).

Will it inspire me to finally make the leap into the unknown?

Well only time will tell.  I hope so.

I would like to leave you with the following scene from the movie.  A perfect combination of images and music.



One thought on “Getting Older, Clerks 2, Dreams and the Smashing Pumpkins

  1. Anonymous says:

    Paul, I did a funeral for a 42 year old today and have one for a 39 year old and another for a 49 year old yet to do this week. One thing that I always used to say and now know with 100% certainty is that life is too short. Do it. x


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