You should see me when you’re not around


As I watched the explosion finally die and the blackness of space return, I thought of how I got here.

Years of putting on a costume and fighting crime was one answer.

Not entirely the whole truth though.

It seems so long ago and so far away.  My life has been some kind of adventure story, written by a hormonal teenager with issues.

Looking back it is as if my history is written, rewritten, deleted and then written again.  Each time I lose part of myself and gain new depths.

I once wore a costume of Red and Blue and fought crime in a dystopian England.  That costume changed from blue and white, through red and blue, to a combination of red, blue, yellow and black.  The thistle was my emblem and it was the code name I chose when I went public.

In another version of my history, that decision was taken by others.  To be honest it was difficult to keep up.  Far easier to just accept what I was told and get on with things.

Then I found myself in a futuristic Aberdeen.  There was a murderer out there in the snow and I was what my city needed.  I cannot remember if I wore a costume then.  Then as soon as I got used to that situation, it changed again.  I was stood in front of a car.  The passengers inside were killing themselves and yet they looked at peace with the world.  I was shouting at someone, possibly blaming him for what was happening.

Why did I not try to save them?

Then nothing.

I would often wake up at the start of a new day and wonder what was going to be in store for me.  It was quite exciting when you got your head around it all.  Every day was different and I was forever young.

Sure some people got left behind….I may have been close to one or two of them….I can’t remember.

Then what felt like years of nothing.  The feeling you get when you wake up after a very long, relaxing sleep but remember nothing of your dreams.  

A flash of light and there I was with the Colonel.  A man that I somehow had known for years.  A man who I worked with in an agency that I do not remember joining.  It had been so long since I had been active, that it took me a while to get back in to the rhythm of just going with the flow.

“This is how it all ends”.

The Colonels words were still with me.

Why was I brought back only to be stuck out here in the void?

 

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