Everything is a camera

“So last night I was leaping around the rooftops of Aberdeen, on my way to meet the King of the Vampires.”

He did not even look up, his hands were busy taking notes on his computer.  The little clacking of the keys distracting me just enough to stop me from falling back into a mental screen-saving stupour.

“You have mentioned before that you try and live each moment as if you were part of a film. Why do you think that way?”
His voice was deep and calm.  Completely ignoring anything I actually said.  This was the way it went in here.  They sit me down in a comfortable chair, offer me something to drink and then spend the next hour telling me that everything I know to be true, is actually just a fantasy.

It’s not but nothing I say can convince them otherwise. This is the cost of being taken into treatment after I broke down.

So I smile.

Tell the truth.

Listen to how wrong I am.

Smile again.

The session ends.

We part.

Until the next time.

There is a part of me that wants to tell them exactly what they want to hear.  How everything is wonderful and I am not part of a multi dimensional agency that is protecting the many thousands of words that make up our reality.  I really do but then I would be lying.  I have to keep some part of me that I am proud of.  Some part of my being that is actually pure and true.

They don’t want to hear that though.  It is a symptom of my illness they say, while encouraging me to take drugs that will “balance you out better and allow you to see the world as it is and not as you want it to be”.

Bizarrely that is exactly the opposite of what the medication does.

I decide to answer the counsellors question.

“Well I honestly believe that, whatever you are doing, you should look as cool as possible.”

Click clack.  Still he does not look at me.  I continue, there is an unspoken challenge there now.  I will make you look at me, I think to myself.

A wicked smile creeps across my lips and I tell him everything.

So I watched Gotham and…..

It was ok. Not great and not awful but somewhere in between (Derek Smalls position in Spinal Tap I suppose).

There was lots I did not like though, lots and lots and lots.
But let us concentrate on what I did like. Beware there be spoilers ahead

– Sean Pertwee as Alfred – Best lines, best acting and best potential for a spin off series…ok maybe not the last one.
– Montoya and Allen being onscreen, albeit not for long. Plus not sure what Montoya and Gordons wife/girlfriend scene was about. They were obviously hinted as being ex lovers but I don’t think it was made clear enough.
– Bullock looked like he should do. Acted a bit too corrupt for my liking but overall it was good to see Harv.
– The penguin. Looked the part and acted almost as I would imagine he would have. Interesting twist at the end.
– Bruce himself was well cast. Liked the kid in Touch/Touched and here I can believe he is young Bruce. Still I hope he is not in the show very often. Gotham needs to be about the people of the city and not just one person.
– The scene with Falcone and Gordon was really well written. Did not see enough of Falcone to make a proper judgement on the casting. Gordon was ok. Not brilliant acting and I wish he had a tache.

That was really all I liked.

Stuff I didn’t
– Fish Mooney was ok but there must be hundreds of characters from the comics that could have been used instead.
– The Ivy character was awful and smacked of some excitable writer thinking that it was a “cool thing”. It wasn’t.
– Either was Nigma…..oh god no. Please no more of him.
– The stand up comic who may be the Joker was awful too. The joke telling was ok but the whole standing watching as Mooney accused and then attacked Cobblepot was amatuer hour and totally unecessary.
– Selina….I can see TV execs right now going “Lets have a love interest for Bruce”. I would like to say to those execs
DONT
That is all.
– Finally…Gordon and Wayne. The chats were kinda nice except for the whole “I am saying words for no reason. The writers think it is because I am subconsciously making you Batman. however what is actually happening is that I am just saying words and you are reacting”
I have a horrible feeling that this will be a weekly occurrence.
Gordon – “Dont worry Bruce, I have read that the Thorgal ritual is exactly what a person needs when they have suffered a bereavement. Just like I did”
Wayne – “Have you met my new friend Richard Grayson. He is an acrobat…oh he’s been captured….can you save him Mister…please?”
Gordon – “Sure Bruce…now let us go to Zur En ArrH avenue where we will work as a team and rescue your friend Jason.”
Wayne – “Richard. His name is Richard.”
Gordon – “Yeah I know….I’m just throwing out an easter egg to the fans.”
Wayne – “It’s October!”
Gordon – “Lets go get Tim.”
and so on and so on etc etc etc.

Little errors that annoyed me.
– Why was the milk almost empty when Selina was feeding the cat, when she had just taken it from a bag of shopping.
– Why would Marthas pearl necklace break when she unclasped it and handed it over?
That bit really annoyed me. The pearls falling is such a powerful image but having it there, without a reason why it happens, was just lazy.

Overall I will watch the next episode. Still not sure where all the Buzz is coming from for this show. Maybe next week will clear that up for me.

Leaping from the page and occasionally stumbling onto the screen

So Constantine is coming up. Bleeding cool review the first episode here
Now from what I read there (and there are spoilers ahoy) I am more confident that this will not be awful.
Of course it may not be good either but at least it sounds like they have an idea what makes the character so well loved. From what I have seen of trailers etc, the guy playing John seems to be almost perfect. I personally would have cast Paul Bettany but that is just me.

So while Constantine is sounding promising, DC has other TV shows coming out. I have gone into depth in the past about how much I love Arrow (and how I was convinced beforehand that it was going to be awful). Also being a big Batman fan, you would imagine I am looking forward to Gotham?

You would be wrong.

Very wrong.

Now I am writing this without having seen the show. Episode 1 was on channel 5 last night here in Scotland, so I will watch that at some point. However the concept of the show is what bothers me.
Everyone knows Batmans origin…everyone. They are likely to remember that the police chief is Jim Gordon and that the city Batman works in is called Gotham.
So with those things in place, I thought that Gotham may be a Tv adaptation of the mostly excellent Gotham Central comic. A police procedure crime show that just happens to be set in Gotham.
What we seem to be getting is a strange mish mash of the above, jammed together with showing how all of Batmans villians came to be.
I may be old school with this but to me, Batmans villians come about because of Batman. The appearance of a masked man, inspires the criminals to become just as bizarre to stand against him. In the case of the Joker, he could not exist without Batman.

The show has hinted that in every episode there will be someone who could be the Joker. I wish they wouldn’t do that. The whole mystery surrounding the Joker is that no-one knows who he is and (more importantly) No-one should ever know.

Anyway the show has had good word of mouth but I remain to be convinced.
Excellent casting of Alfred though, I will give them that.

Then we have The Flash. I hold no love for Barry Allen as he is by far the least interesting person to have ever taken that name. Much like Hal Jordan is the least interesting Green Lantern, Barry will always be that clean cut boy from the sixties, no matter how many times the comics try to make him relevant.

Ok here is where I confess that Wally West was the first Flash comic I bought and the first series I collected….yep I am biased.

However the buzz for the series has been mostly positive. I have seen the pics of the fight with the Reverse Flash and I have to say that the costume is looking good.

I am less happy about Wally West being cast as a black kid, both in the TV show and in the new 52 reboot. Why they did not just make him a new original character who becomes Kid Flash I still don’t get. Hell even have Wally have the metabolism disease again that prevents him using his speed. Then he could mentor the new guy.
But that would have been too sensible I guess.

You got any Guru Josh?

Well as a matter of fact…I do.

The world was ending. The signs had been there for a while now, it is just that people were choosing to ignore them.
My friend had explained that the software had been updated. Our filters would not work anymore. There was no way to circumvent it.
We were doomed.
I sat, looking at the lies in the papers, wondering how they got away with it time after time. My filter tried to decode them but all they managed was a fuzzy picture of reality.
Plus it gave me a killer headache.
I resigned myself to the end

Then I heard it. The sound of a million saxophones all playing in unison. It was like the Big Man had not passed on. The beat followed and I could feel the threat receding. Headlines became legible again as the truth started coming through.
Outside I could see colour again. The grey and uniform world that they wanted us to live in was replaced by bursts of colour with each dance beat.

I dusted off my bongos and went outside.